After a very nice night’s sleep in a Super 8 (yes, that’s right, a Super 8), I was off for the remainder of my drive to my parent’s cottage. Needing the sleep, I didn’t get on the road until about 11, so I missed the hustle and bustle of Hudsonville’s rush hour. However, my traffic issues were not negated completely.
I’m not sure if you’ve driven in Michigan before, but many cities here abhor left turns and simply make them illegal. It’s a total pain-in-the-ass. MOST of the time, they have a little place past the intersection where you can make a u-turn. Why? No fu@#%#$ idea. It’s fairly retarded. All you do is move the turn light down 50 yards and make everyone wait there. Whatever.
The problem in Grandville, where I needed to go for a Starbucks which is about 5 miles away, is that there are no u-turn areas. So they just have no left turns and then say to hell with you.
So I hit the highway and head towards Grandville getting off at exit 67 and headed east. On my left, of course, I see the Starbucks. As I neared the intersection, I realized there was no left turn. Fine, I’ll just go to the next light and turn there. Same gig, no left turn. Well what the hell? How can I get there? So I cut across traffic to my right so I can make a right hand turn. Now I need to be going the other way to get across the street so I go to make a u-turn in an un-trafficked intersection and I see a cop in my rear view mirror. So I interrupt my u-turn (essentially turning left, but this was one of the rare places it was allowable) and make it into a side street to turn around. Cop passes by. Whew. Go back out and turn right. Now I just need to cross the intersection and make a left. Guess what? No left turn there. Damnit!!!
After going straight through the intersection, I start to make another u-turn and, you guessed, another cop. What the hell? Leave me alone! I just want a damn cup of coffee!! So another side street and a two right turns later and I’m finally at the Starbucks. Guess what? It’s not even built yet, but they have the sign up. Still no fu@#%$# coffee!!
So I need to head east to go back down the strip, but that, of course, involves another left turn which I can’t make there. I hear what you’re saying and trust me, at this point I really am considering just getting back on the highway. But I stick it out and make it down to a Meijer’s which has a Starbucks inside. Their pastry selection sucked, but at this point I just wanted my coffee and to get the hell out of Dodge.
The rest of the trip was uneventful and even included a little White Sox vs. Tigers baseball. After arriving, my folks and I caught up on the nice little patio. It’s been a good day (despite the Fiasco in Grandville as it shall be known) and a very slow dial up connection.
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5 comments:
oh, Meijers! Such fond school memories of midnight runs to that grocery store. They have EVERYTHING and spawned the game "Three things at midnight", wherein you had to come up with the most disturbing combination of three items for sale at Meijer. My favorite: goldfish, condoms, cheezewiz.
hee hee hee. I bet that java tasted all the sweeter for your troubles though, didn't it?
Ehy not just make three right turns>
Think about it for a moment . . . essentially a cloverleaf.
Alexis - were the gold fish the crackers or the pets?
dejesus, you'd think that would work, but three rights in a row is difficult as well. Think strip malls and hidden entrances/exits. Not fun.
Alexis, that is absolutely hysterical. I found myself going through Sam's thinking about it...very funny.
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