Tuesday, May 26, 2009

When I become dictator.......

If you've spent any time with me at all, you've heard the title words come out of my mouth at some point. Some things that occur in our society seem so easily fixable, but you just need to have absolute power to overcome the objections from those with power and money. And yes, that implies that many of these things DON'T happen already because of people in power and/or the rich. That makes this entry a little less fun and a little more sad unfortunately. All of my suggestions are achievable.

Instead of categorizing these, I'll just start running off the action items....after all, I'm dictator on the move!!!

First and foremost, Superbowl Sunday will be moved to Saturday. It's just stupid to have it on Sunday and then have people go to work the next day. The site will be rotated around the league to ALL stadiums as well, not just warm weather and domed stadiums. That's bullshit. And No, I won't just give you Monday off. We will be in a productive society.

People who kill other people and whom would otherwise be put on death row will be publicly executed. They will be hung from a central area in town as a reminder of what happens to killers. And pedophiles, also publicly executed. We just don't need that kind of trash in our cities. And we used to do this! No I don't think it's too grisly. I think it sends a very strong message however.

Drug dealers are in for a rude awakening as well. I realize that if there were no buyers then there would be no market, but I also realize that people are easily tempted and are generally stupid. Dealers will also be publicly executed. Watch out gangbangers, I'm coming for you.

Marijuana however will be legalized and taxed. The drinking age will be eliminated. Not to 18, eliminated. The onus will be on the parents to teach their kids.

These next few aren't actually being prevented by the rich and powerful. We just don't do them and we should. Under my administration, we would!!

No one under 30 will be allowed to get married. You're young and stupid before then and many people remain stupid after 30.

Similarly, everyone will be implanted with those multi-year contraceptives when they are 13 or so. No teenage pregnancies. No unwanted pregnancies. No irresponsible fathers or drug dependent mothers. The contraceptives will be removed after they pass mental, physical and drug tests (and they are over 30): basically everyone will have to get a reproduction license whether you're married or not. Just getting married doesn't give you the right to reproduce. The economic and moral weight of this issue will free our country's minds to think about and focus on other issues.

Finally, for this entry, children born of illegal immigrants will not be citizens and will have the same legal status and rights (limited) as their parents.

Tomorrow: speed limits, taxes and changing the envrionment of some states.


alexis said...

I have to admit I have similar leaning when it comes to punishments. But then you have to make sure your legal/justice systems are squeeky clean - no corruption!

stef said...

Hmmmm. Not a libertarian I guess.

el supremo de nm said...

Or a humanitarian.

Lakeview Coffee Joe said...

Humanitarian? What about the victims?? It's justice!

dejesus Freak said...

Late to the party . . .

1. I don't see how there is such a loss of productivity on the day afterward, especially compared to something like March Madness. Still, OK.

2. No.
3. Hell no.
4. No comment.

5. Hell no. I agree that many people remain stupid after 30 -- so how does that mean the people shouldn't be allowed to marry before then? Just because you made a poor decision doesn't mean that society should preclude others from making a choice. Also, what do you think will happen with all the bastardized kids? (see below).

6. OMG. Are you f***ing kidding me? Even putting aside the personal liberty issue, what happens when these the contraceptives wear off -- you really think that ther will be no unwanted pregnancies, deadbeat dads, or drug dependent moms? What world do you live in? And who gets to decide who is mentally and physically capable?

Even China doesn't isn't this crazy. The moment you tried to issue the edict, you would be deposed in a violent coup. I may even join the crusaders.

7. OK.

Lakeview Coffee Joe said...

C'mon DJF! You're soft! Deterrents baby. The incidence of crimes are much lower in countries with public executions. Good stuff.

I actually didn't make a poor decision with my marriage and that's not why I would change this one. My decision, at the time, was the best I could make. That's the problem though. People are too young and inexperienced to make good decisions.

Bastardized kids wouldn't exist, so there's no problem in dealing with them. When my administration, which will determine who can have kids, determines you are fit, then and only then will your contraceptive be removed. Since both men and women have them, there's no problem. When they wear out, you'll HAVE to get them renewed in order to do anything in society (much more restrictive than just a drivers license).

I'm not saying there won't be ANY of those things, but there will be very few. I've already eliminated drug dealers and screened fathers as well as mothers before their contraceptives are removed. It's a huge win!

China is much worse!! They let you reproduce and then kill or take the kids. I'm being much more humane about it.

dejesus freak said...

1. I'm not a fan of capital punishment and don't believe that it is as much of a deterrent or provides the aspect of closure that victims' families want.

2. Who are you to say "I made a good decision, but young people are too inexperienced to make good decisions -- except me, that is"?

3. Sure there will be bastardized kids. When your parental permission team determines a couple is fit to have kids, she gets pregnant and the couple breaks up before she gives birth, you've got bastardized kids. Maybe not a ton of them, but you'd still have them. You'd also have single parente too, of course.

4. You're not being more humane about it. You are being more restrictive.

Also, think of the economic impact as birth rates plummet.